we can be heroes just for one day

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Let’s get this out of the way: it’s been ages/months since I’ve posted. I won’t dwell upon that or dive into too much detail other than the last six months have been overwhelming and busier than I could have imagined. However, enough is enough. I’m exhausted and emotionally drained, but I cannot stay away from this blog any longer. I didn’t realize just how much energy and satisfaction I gained from writing here, and how inspiring it was to connect to others in the beer and baking blogging community. I can’t and won’t promise that I’ll be here every day from now until eternity, but I’ll do everything I can to put my best foot forward. I’m trying to focus on writing my posts with more care and forethought. That may mean longer posts, that may mean more infrequent posts, but I hope that it also means more genuine writing.

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Pictured first is the Chief Joseph Scenic Byway near Cody, Wyoming – my vacation spot for the last week (Cody, not the highway itself). I’m coming back and coming down from one of the best weeks I’ve had with one of the best people and the best dogs (above) I know. I was visiting the boyfriend, who works on a ranch about an hour outside of Cody, and it was about as picturesque as you could imagine. First, the view from even the front and back yard was breathtaking in and of itself, with mountains on either side cradling the valley and river. The mountains are intimidating there in a fashion unique to other mountains I’ve seen before. Unlike the Smokey Mountains in Georgia and North Carolina, most of the scenery is dramatic with jagged rocks jutting up from the earth like a scene from Fantasia with a frantic symphony playing in the background. They’re stark, and make you feel incredibly small in the world. We hiked for even better views, read outside, took scenic drives, and traipsed around rivers. There were rainbows, horses, blue rivers, and a sky dusted with stars at night. I was able to meet some wonderful and genuine people, and truly enjoy life as it was for the week. And let me tell you what, going to see the rodeo in Cody was so. much. fun.

Though I enjoy St. Charles (it’s like a fairy tale village – no joke), my life for the past six months has not felt like my own. I’ve been running at 100 miles a minute, and I haven’t been able to take care of myself. Maybe I’m just like all other 25 year olds as this point, and maybe I can’t tell you in specificity what I want, but I’ve always been very good at knowing what I don’t want. I came into my own through this blog, through baking, through running, through camping, through reading, through natural beauty. I haven’t been that person for a long time. Last week I read, I baked, I moved, and I had someone who truly supports me and takes care of me.Β It felt like living again.

So how does one come back from that? It’s already tough and a struggle even to be away from someone you love. And it’s always hard to come back from vacation. As hard as it was to leave, I really am excited about what comes next. I’m excited to take control again. This week was a reminder of the places I want to be, the natural beauty I crave, and the people I want in my life. I looked through some of my journals, and every time I would return from North Carolina or when I went out to Colorado I would write about how I have to get out there some day some way. I wrote about wanting the mountains and bending rivers. Then I would go back to the day-to-day routine and keep those dreams tucked between those pages. My friends are a great inspiration, and I’m proud of all of them for knowing what they want, decidedly going after that, and not settling for less. It’s time I did the same.

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